I feed my dogs raw venison patties. They come frozen with a small slip of parchment between each to keep them from sticking together. That’s the idea. But it doesn’t really work.
This morning, I stood at my kitchen counter with a stack of patties in hand, all of them frozen tightly together, parchment and all.
I pried, put my hands in different positions, made some weird faces, I even put my hips into it. I gave the prying my all.
And still I stood there with a stack of fused frozen patties. I could definitely pre-thaw. But today it was too late for that, I woke up late, the dogs were hungry, and because we ran out of patties at dinner last night, breakfast required a run to the pet store. There was no time for a pre-thaw.
Sometimes what we need to get through things is the combination of leverage and strength.
Strength alone might not loosen the patties.
Leverage without strength may not loosen the patties.
If you find you can’t figure out on your own how to loosen your patties, it’s okay to ask for help.
When you do, make sure the person you ask can actually help you.
You probably wouldn’t ask your elderly landlady for help with them. You also might not ask the toddler next door for help with them.
When you ask for help with your patties, be a good judge of who you ask. Yes. I said judge. But not like an asshole.
As humans, we have roughly 60,000 thoughts a day (which most days, for me, feels more like millions). That means at any given moment, we have way too many browser pages open in our dome. And the number of thoughts doesn’t even take into consideration the amount of energy that goes into the feelings that come up with thoughts.
Not everybody has the time or the space to drop everything and help pry your patties apart. That means even the people we love dearly and who are the closest to us. Our patty emergency is not their patty emergency.
This does not make accepting their limits—like the grown-ass, capable adults we are—suck any less.
Plan ahead. Ask someone else. Or figure it out.
How did I deal with this morning’s patty problem?
I stared out the kitchen window at the rain and remembered that my focus right now (and ostensibly into forever) is to work on remembering that our mindset and values create the leaping off point for everything we do.
I looked at the sweet watery eyes and tippy-tapping toes of the loves of my life. They wanted breakfast which was quickly becoming brunch. I took a breath for good measure, got a knife, wedged it between patty and paper–focused on keeping my fingers and hands intact–and pried those fuckers apart.
With strength and leverage.